Monkey-ing Around

It's funny to me that as we get older someone will say or do something that will trigger some vaulted memory in you're brain pan of when you were younger, this has happily happened to me on many, many occasions, I suspect it is because mentally I am still more a child then I care to admit.
I heard a kid say, "No way, I wanna be the Monkey this time!" as they ran past me, as the erg to stick out my foot and trip them subsided the comment about the monkey immediately jettisoned my memory back to when I was way, way younger (Ok, it was last week...) back when we used to think how cool it would be if we were monkey's or apes.
Well as we get older we usually feel the need to justify or over examine what ever we think, say or do, almost as if the innocence is gone and the skepticism has taken a tight hold on us and our imaginations. With that in mind I have decided to put down what I think would be the top 10 Pro's and Con's of being a monkey or Ape. So here you go!

The Top 10 Pro's for Being a monkey or Ape
1. You would never again have to listen to, "Hey ... Stop Monkey-ing Around

2. Flinging your Poo is a acceptable form of communication.

3. Masturbating in public is not a big deal and no one makes fun of you for your size or technique.

4. NASA lets us ride in space first and for free.

5. Planet of the Apes, Need I say more?

6. We would not be slaves to fashion and you will never have to hear again..."Pull your pants up" not to mention, No wedgies.

7. No shaving or using deodorant.

8. The whole toilet seat thing becomes mute, the world would be your pisser.

9. What could be better than being one of the most popular attractions at the Zoo.

10. Who doesn't like bananas?

Top 10 Con's for being a Monkey or Ape
1. King Kong, you Bastards shoot him just when Fay Ray was warming up to him.

2. In some countries they still eat monkey's

3. Lab experiments are not always a good thing.

4. No Satellite TV or porn.

5. There are no monkey's or Ape's with belly button piercing.

6. We sleep outside in trees, while you humans get the nice craft-matic adjustable beds.

7. The only cars we get to drive are the Clown cars at the circus. have you ever had to hang around with clowns? they are pigs!

8. No shaving and deodorant is not necessarily a good thing...PU monkey's stink.

9. Dr. Zaus from Planet of the Apes was a dictator and a dick head... "Oh I am the Orangutan there for I am the smart one!", What a presumptuous up-start of a primate he was, that friggin' orange furred Nazi Bastard.

10. Always eating bananas gives you the shits! Can we please have a pizza or Chinese for once?

Well there you have it the top 10 Pro's and Con's for being a Monkey or an Ape. Listen what were you expecting some cure for the common cold here? It's a dam Blog people.

Fitzy: Legion of Decency Retired