Even Steven

I just read in the newspaper that a married couple from New Orleans tried to trade 2 children in their care for a Cockatoo and $175.00 in cash.
Now not that I condone this mode of thinking, but I would have thought they would have held out for 2 cockatoo's, some seed, and the $175.00, What were they thinking? Dam armatures.
So I was thinking, if this is going to be all the rage to go back to the old system of Trades and Bartering system, then I have prepared a list of things I would like to trade and what I would like in exchange for them.
1. One slightly used up parent for Peace and quiet for 1 month.
2. A pair of female siblings for 1 box of coconut girl scout cookies
3. A well used pair of Spot-bilt sneakers (circa 1981) for a Autographed photo of Dawnzie Greene.
4. A fine assortment of In-Laws (persons to be named later) for a block of seriously sharp cheddar cheese.
5. A Poster of Samantha Fox (a bit worn on 1 side) for World Peace ( sorry about the price, I really like the Poster).

*****Straight Trades Only ~ Even Steven
******No Indian Givers - Take backs or Substitutions
*****No Warranties or Guarantees given or implied
****Tax, Title,Registrations,Directions and Batteries not included
~Trader Beware~All Trades Final~